Tuesday, February 4, 2014

10 minute sociopath clean

I am a bit of a neat freak I am a MAJOR neat freak and I live in a shoebox of an apartment with a guy friend. Although it would be easy to justify the messes all on him, we are probably both equally gross when it comes to our lifestyle/lack of taking out the garbage. The messes pile up while I am trying to clean up old messes and it can be very stressful, which gives me anxiety and turns me into a crazy sociopath. Especially since I’m not home very often, the last thing I want to do at 9:00 pm after being gone since 6:55 am is look at, let alone do, dirty dishes.

When I’m really stressed out, I clean. It’s totally a control thing—like when I feel like I can’t control other things in my life, I take on the project of mopping my kitchen floor. But I can’t go all OCD everyday and I usually don’t have enough time have enough motivation to get off my ass and deep clean anything. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.

I do have a few things that I try to clean regularly because if they are clean, I feel a little bit better about my apartment and my life. I thought I’d offer my 10 minute cleaning routine that makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together.


ONE- Kaboom
TWO- All-purpose cleaner with bleach (I buy up&up from Target)
THREE- Windex
FOUR- Disinfecting wipes (again, up&up from Target)

Get 'Er Done:


Our tub gets super pinkish red from the hard water, especially in the winter, so I give the tub a good soaking of Kaboom. While that’s soaking in, I Windex the bathroom mirror. Then I use a disinfecting wipe to clean the sink since I shed like nobody’s biz. I take the candle, lotion, and no-poop-smell spray off the toilet tank and wipe the toilet tank down. Then I return to the tub and with either a disinfecting wipe or a rag, I give the tub a wipe down. If you wait the three minutes while you wipe up the mirror, sink, and toilet, the stains usually wipe right out and you don’t have to scrub too much.

TIME: 3 minutes

Living room/ Dining room:

With disinfecting wipe, wipe off coffee table and regular table to get rid of crumbs. Usually a precursor to this step is to gather all old food/dishes/garbage and dispose of it so I can get to the surface of the table.

TIME: 2 minutes


Gather all dirty dishes from apartment and put them in the sink for later. If there are dishes in the sink, you can do a few dishes. If no dishes, bleach sink and give a quick scrub. Bleach counter tops. Wipe stove top. Take a quick peek in fridge and throw out any expired/molding foods of yours or roommates. Bag up the (overflowing) trash bag and set it by back door. Move recyclables from pile on counter top to pile in the recycling bin.

TIME: 4 minutes


Make bed and tuck in sheets. I never ever ever ever make my bed in the morning, but I love going to sleep in a nicely made bed with the sheets tucked in. This simple pleasure gives me way more joy than it should, so I try to do this during my sociopath tornado clean.

TIME: 1 minute


These quick things can be done in only ten minutes, and will make your house or apartment feel so much cleaner and get some of the stress out. So next time you are stressing about have people coming over in a few minutes and feel like your house is a disaster, try a sociopath clean (unless you’re Type B and don’t care. Good for you guys, I take my hat off to you for being okay living with messiness. That wasn't sarcasm. For real. I'm jealous). You might look like a tazmanian devil, but you’ll feel like June freaking Cleaver.