Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I got a new job

Sorry for my mini-hiatus for my brand new blog, but I’ve had a LOT going on this last week. As you may have guessed from the title of this post, today I accepted a new job, which means that on December 13, I’ll be hanging up my nanny hat and jumping into something new.

Without getting too sappy (read: a blubbering mess AGAIN), I wanted to reflect a little on the last year and a half. These ramblings are coming in the rawest form and unedited as I’m still reeling from the day and all the emotions and changes I’m experiencing.

I started nannying for the family I work with in June 2012, a mere week after graduating from college. At that time, their daughter, “S,” was eleven months old and they were doing a nanny share with another family who had an infant boy. I connected with S’s mom immediately, and since I was full-time with them (versus only three days a week with the other family) we all got close pretty quickly. They had another baby this past June, and I’ve fallen for him immediately as well, making transitioning to a new job even harder.

Over the last year and a half, I have been with their daughter 45 hours a week, 50 weeks a year. It’s kind of EXTREMELY pathetic, but S is sort of my best friend; I spend more time with her daily than I spend with any of my actual friends, and I don’t let any of my real friends eat food off my plate without getting slapped. I’d like to think I taught her everything she knows, but in reality, little S taught ME everything I know about kids, parenting, and how to get things right (and fail gracefully when you screw up). Almost every morning, S greets me by yelling, “my Carlye is here, my Carlye is here!” We have special games, voices, routines, and rituals. I am her Carlye and she is my nugget. She kisses all my owies and asks me daily, “Carlye, you snuggle me?” S is bright, talkative, imaginative, and creative. She loves everyone and has shown me how unconditional love works. She has been the best “practice daughter” I could have asked for. I’m struggling to put into words how deeply I love and cherish this little girl, but suffice it to say I love her as if she were my daughter.

The parents and I have become a well-oiled parenting machine, and we transition seamlessly on most days. S and B adore their parents, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love that I know they adore me too. Mom and Dad have become my friends and they have made me a part of their family. Mom lends me her super cute clothes and dresses me if I go on dates. I share most of my life with her: boys, friends, family, you name it. Dad set up my Cartwheel app and helps me with my iPhone. We blurred the lines of personal and professional and the result was an unintentionally wonderful partnership. They are great parents, fantastic bosses, and awesome friends.

I kept them informed of my job search (I need more money and more professional experience) and they’ve been nothing but supportive. Today, when I brought the kids upstairs to give Mom my two weeks notice, she and I both cried as we talked about how much I mean to their family and how much their family means to me. We probably cried together for a half hour, then we fixed our makeup, and together we started working on an advertisement for a new nanny. Because I love those kids like my own flesh and blood, I am committed to helping them find a fantastic replacement, since I won’t feel good about leaving if I know I’m leaving them with someone who won’t love them the way I do.

I didn’t know it was possible to be so emotional about a job you’ve been wanting to leave, but I guess when reality sinks in and you actually HAVE the job you’ve been wanting, all bets are off. Sorry for the ramble.

I'll try to post my marathon tip post (half finished right now) this weekend, but for now, this is all I've got for ya.

Whew. Deep breath. Leap.